Thursday, March 19, 2015

An Ode to My Lover: Read with Caution!

An Ode to my Lover
Awaken by your sweet smell lingering through the house- I crave you, I want you
Imagining my lips wrapped around waiting to taste you, I crave you, I want you
The warmth of you sliding past my lips, flowing down my tongue as I experience each flavor you give on every part of my tongue
I crave you every day, I experience you in many ways and I love it. I never knew love to be so addicting. 
You are somehow connected to my happiness, when I get you my whole world lights up as the smile on my face spreads so gracefully
Strong and Black you are... but I am open
Sweet and nutty your boldness comes through
I didn't realize how addicted I was to you until I couldn't "HAVE" you
It's been five days since I felt your warmth and I miss you
My attitude has changed and I am going through withdrawals
Counting the day till I can get my "hit" I am a fiend for you- I crave you, I want you
Maybe this detachment is good for right now as I find myself with out you
Just know I crave you badly I want you
My Coffee lover 

I bet you thought I was talking about a man huh! GET YOUR MIND OUT THE GUTTER! 

So I just started the Daniel Fast with my home church. My aunt texted me asking if I wanted to do it with them and I said sure. Did not realize that I could not have my lover everyday. I knew that would be the hardest part about this fast. I kept having these self defeating thoughts and would have to take it captive so that I could really battle this thing. I am a firm believer in enjoying whatever in MODERATION. If something begins to control you then it needs to be put back in its place. And I am putting my coffee addiction in its place.

I am telling you, I was not a nice person until I had my coffee and once I had my first two sips a smile would automatically be plastered on my face. I knew it was a sad situation.

The first day was HORRIBLE... I had the worst headache, straight up throbbing. I had to squint my eyes to focus. I felt like I was super incoherent when talking with people. I was not understanding what was going on. I even snapped on someone. I went to sleep around 6:30 for a few hours woke and then slept the whole night through.

The second day I was tired, I could not focus. I was dragging. I could not work on a specific project for long and I was like OMGEESSHHHH. But I survived still a bit confused at life lol!

Here it is Day 4 and I feel so much better. I am back to laughing and getting a little more to my bubbly self but I am not all the way there. I hope that I can continue my life without the NEED to have coffee. I still have 17 more days left on the fast and I am excited to see what else I learn and unlearn as I seek God and healing and self in this fast.

My coworker came by my desk and I loooked at her all excitedly and told her I am writing something sexy. She asked, "Did you drink coffee?" I said, "No but it's about coffee." She said, " Nothing is sexy about coffee"


Well anyways, I gotta get back to work... shhhhh

I will keep you posted on this wonderful journey of mine!

Peace and Blessings