Friday, January 30, 2015

7 Lessons from 7 Years of Locking my Hair

7 Lessons from 7 Years of Locking my Hair

December 2007 is when I made an appointment to loc my hair. So many people were against it. They said, “You change your hair too much to have locs in your hair” or “You wouldn't look right.” All the neigh-sayers were all wrong. I lasted 7 years and I looked so good! I had to put down a non-refundable deposit too.

As of January 2015, I removed my locs and now rocking a natural fro! Learning how to work with it, learning a lot too!

As I sat for a week combing out 160, a bit thinner than a pencil, locs there was a lot of reflection going on. I tried to have a “Rock Out with Your Locs Out” party where people come and help me take my locs out. My Aunt and cousin came at 10 pm and took about 6 locs out! All the other 154 locs I did by myself and had many of thoughts floating. I thought about the past 7 years and how my hair has taught me some life lessons.

1)      What you envision may not become the perfect reality. I started locking my hair from a shoulder length fro so I was ready for some shoulder length thick locs. When done, these little tiny shriveled up locs was laid out on the shape of my head. I was embarrassed because I wanted my longer hair to show.  I wore a scarf for a few days and then decided to embrace it. Reminds me of relationships, new jobs, starting college, moving to a new town and you had envisioned such great things and you were so excited but then when it came to pass it was nothing like you imagined. The girl or guy turned out to be crazy, new job had more tasks than you expected, starting college you did not think realistically about the cost and the new town was not greener than the last. But you either have to learn how to embrace the changes or move on.

2)      Just because they start at the same line and it looks like they are running the same race, they are not. Someone may have more speed, maybe it is in their genetics but either way someone is moving slower or faster or even in a different direction than you. This guy and I started our locs around the same time and they were around the same length however all of a sudden he had a huge growth spurt and I was still rocking little baby locs. I was like what the heck. Different genetics, finances, living situations and so much more attributed to the differences and I learned to accept that.

3)      The ugly stage is where you grow the most. Oh my gosh I could not stand my hair in that 2/3 year. It was at a point where I could not do anything with it. I almost gave up. But usually when you are in an ugly stage in life you do the most growing. For some reason you pray harder, you read the bible harder, you study harder you find ways to get through your ugly stage. I played with my hair learning how to maneuver different locs to do different things and eventually my ugly stage became my growing stage.

4)      Patience, patience, PATIENCE! I was going for length;that was my goal. It did not get long till about the 5th year. But prior to that there were so many times when you want to give up which leads me to my next lesson…

5)      Breakthrough comes after the tough times. Every time I wanted to cut my hair off because it wasn't achieving what I wanted all of a sudden my hair would hit a different stage and I fell in love all over again. Reminds me of relationships. You are in an ugly stage in your relationship and you just want to give up and as soon as you try to throw in the towel breakthrough happens and you fall back in love with your boo.

6)      Know that when you are envying someone else someone is envying you. I wanted my hair to look a certain way. I wanted my life to be a certain way based on what I see others had. I wanted it but then people were praising my hair, my life and I realized that people are looking at me with hope and that I should really focus on me and live the life that will encourage and inspire.

7)      Learn how to work around the flaws. NOTHING IS PERFECT. You can try to get as perfect as you want to be yet there is always something that is just not right. For example I had a patch of hair fall out in the back and I started about 11 baby locs but I always hid them because I was embarrassed by them. They were right in the back and I sat in the front row at church. I was so self-cautious it didn’t make any sense. But I learned how to work around it. Made sure they were well taken care of and did styles that would not put them on blast.

I felt like the 7 year mark was a sign of completion. A lot was going on and I wanted and needed change. I believe your hair holds a lot of stress and mess in it and cutting them off was a more spiritual thing for me. So here is my bonus lesson… Learn when to let go; learn when your time is up. So many people hold onto things for so many reasons. The best way you know when your time is up in a situation is when you are at peace. When you look back and smile rather than cry. My loc journey had completed at that time. Who knows maybe I will loc again at a later date. But I feel free and good.

Thank You for reading.

Peace and Blessings,
Cicely-Renee

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