Monday, August 11, 2014

The Roaring 20's: Reflection of my Preparation Year's pt. 3

I am creeping up to my 30th birthday and am becoming discouraged... This happened last year as well. I do not know what to do and when because I am on everybody else's schedule. Kind of feels like I was born only to serve others on my birthday :) Maybe that is a good thing.

Anywho!

My past has been so vital to who I am today and who I will be in the future! It has been and is exciting reflecting on my life! God has been so amazing! I have been through a lot.

I did some really stupid stuff and God has kept me. I was reflecting some time ago and I saw the Hand of God all through out my life protecting me from dangers seen and unseen! Even as a child, God really kept me so I know I have some things in store that are and will be great! One example is that I was about 9 years old and I was sitting on the kitchen counter putting the glasses in the cabinet and all of a sudden the shelf fell and all of the glasses fell AROUND me. I was not touched.

Another example is that when I was in 1st grade I was in a truck with a friend and her dad, we were going to softball practice. I didn't shut the door good and didn't have my seat belt on and we turned the corner and I fell out. Only a scrape on my elbow and landed on my tummy. I do not remember falling out until I was on the ground. I was scared that was it. Got up walked into the ambulance and was FINE! Can you see God's hand protecting you through out your life?

In the years 22 and 23, I started going back to church and singing in the choir. I missed that. I grew up in the church and was religious! I tried dating but wasn't really successful. Guys for some reason was not trying to be in a RELATIONSHIP with me :( 

  • Lesson 1: Denials are lifesavers! This is something I learned actually starting college all the way up until my last boyfriend. This lesson can go across any area of life. I personally was not "Putting Out". Most guys that tried to get with me 90% of the time only wanted sex. Every time I showed interest in a guy and I told them I was not having sex they disappeared. Man think about all the emotional baggage and even physical baggage I saved. I was weeding people out. If you look at denials as lifesaver's you will be a much happier camper. Many get distraught and it does not have to be that way. 
I was finishing up my bachelors degree and it only took me 5.5 years! Remember how I was telling you I was failing and withdrawing? I forgot to mention I kept changing my degree. 

  • Lesson 2: If you are not ready to go to college don't force it! I am glad I stuck it out but those classes are expensive! I switched my degree, first it was Psychology, then Criminal Justice, and then, Restaurant Management, and the Business Management and then I finished with Business Admin. I was a random girl and if you are not ready to commit then do not! It is a waste of time and money! BUT I DID GET MY Bachelors Dec. 2008! I brought my GPA from 2.0-2.8 which still isn't the best thing. I struggled in those math classes. But I did everything to pass the classes. I didn't fail any after I transferred so that was good! 
I moved back in with my mama when I came back from Orlando. I am the only child so I liked being alone. I worked, went to school, went to church and partied. Although I felt I was GROWN my mama still put her foot down and I had to respect that.
  • Lesson 3: If you cannot respect the persons that are putting a roof over your head then GET OUT! I respected my mama all the time though. I was not the child that yelled at my mom, slam doors or leave. But then my mama also treated me with respect as well. She gave me a curfew. I did miss it a lot. But one thing I did not miss was no matter how late I came in I BETTER BE AT CHURCH. And I was. I drank a lot and would wake with a hangover and still be at church. A hot mess I know but I was there. I had to. My mother was letting me, a "GROWN" woman live in her house FOR FREE, she cooked and bought groceries. I have a problem with parents and children when they cannot communicate and just disrespect each other. If you cannot live by their rules then get your own place.
I was close to the last year of my degree. I was working at a restaurant and I wanted to advance my career. There was the internship that I wanted to be a part of. I was working really hard and I thought that my boss really cared and that she wanted the best for me. I watched all the business interns and I wanted to get into management.She told me to apply and I did. I thought I had a great relationship with the bigger boss but I guess I was wrong. 
  • Lesson 4 and 5: Not everyone REALLY wants to see you succeed and COLOR STILL does play a big role. She kept saying "Yes, he will be getting back to you." or he would say, "Yep I will be interviewing soon. Month went by and I would see new interns and I was not even close to getting an interview. Too me color still is bright as day but people think they hiding in the dark and we cannot see. All those interns were Caucasian. If I recall, I do not remember seeing anyone in a leadership role a person of color. I was heartbroken and was ready for a change. I couldn't be a hostess with the mostess for the rest of my life. I was not being challenged and those people were not trying to hear me which was an eyeopener. I left in July and looked for a new job.
Well stay tuned for more lessons on my roaring twenties, the preparation years. Coming up, I MOVED OUT OF STATE by myself. 

Can you remember when you were 23? What was something major happening in your life?

Peace and Blessings,
Cicely

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