Monday, July 28, 2014

The Roaring 20's: Reflection of my Preparation Years pt. 1

For some reason I have been thinking quite heavily on my 30th birthday which will be September 10th. I have been trying to figure out what I wanted to do. So many ideas. My top choice was to go to Napa Valley and just go on a wine tasting spree. Unfortunately at this time, the money and timing are not in sync! I have some pretty cool plans though I am excited about.

As I was thinking about my life, I came to the realization that my twenties were just preparation for the rest of my life. I was nervous about turning 30 but thinking about where God brought me from, through and over I am so blessed. I have learned a great deal and have grown so much mentally, spiritually, naturally, emotionally and relationally (NOT A REAL WORD but you get what I mean!).

Over the next few blogs, I will be in reflection mode where I will share different lessons that have made me a better woman, friend, family member, worker, wife and more.

Let's begin at age 20!

It was 2004/5, I was in my second year of college in Marshall, MN. I could not stand it there! I hated the smell of manure and corn fields. It was 3.5 hours away from the Twin Cities. There wasn't really any shopping or night life. The after party was at Wal-mart! The bars was where we all went to party. The black students were seriously divided by student life support groups. TRIO and the BSU. The black boys were with the white girls and it did matter back then! Everyone's hormones were raging and many of the students were losing their virginity, sleeping with each other, and with a lot of people all at once. 

I struggled in my studies and I just wanted to get out of there. I was failing classes, withdrawing and just not taking it seriously. One thing that was great for me were the few friends that I did have and getting my first real live boyfriend! NO NAMES! 

I stayed in the dorm that year because the previous year some girls and I got an apartment and that messed us all up! 

I thank God for the friends I met in Marshall because I would not have survived. That year I had an epiphany! 

  • Lesson 1: Higher Education is not for the broke people that want to stay broke! People go to school to get specialized education to help them in life. I realized I was playing too many games and wasting too much money! I finally realized that these classes I am failing and withdrawing from, I still had to pay for them. I had to get my mind right. When sending resumes they were going to ask for GPA and I was embarrassed to put my GPA on it. If I wanted a decent or good job/career I needed to get my act right.

  • Lesson 2: This degree is not just for me. I would reflect on the day my mama asked me about college and I said I was not going. She attacked me, twisted my arm behind my back and climbed on top of me on the floor. Mind you I was 5'9 200 lbs and my mom 5'6 150 lbs. She tickled me until I said "Ok I am going to college". I remember my mom always saying you have to be better than me. I thank God for my mother. Many parents get jealous of their children or mess them up emotionally and do not want what is best for their children. I remembered that day and realized this degree is not just for me but for my mom, my future children, my future spouse (I wanted to be sure I had something to bring to the table as well), the people who are looking at me for hope and encouragement and people who thought they could not do it!
  • Lesson 3: The friends you came with may not be the friends you leave with! I lost a few close friends that I had went to school with since the 5th grade. Friends grow apart and I feel like that was best for me and everyone who part ways along life. In a lot of my friendships I was like the tag along which was not fun. I did not have a voice. The separation was great. I felt like I had found a certain identity that got me through what I needed to go through. I was sad and confused about our splitting but have not regretted it one bit! 

While in Marshall, I started getting depressed. Like I said I hated it there. The support there from the university was crappy. I had to get away. With those few lessons I understood that I needed to get away! I decided to do the  Walt Disney World College Program and got accepted into it. I also decided that I need to transfer schools and get back on track. 

  • Lesson 4: Sometimes you just need to get away! So many people stay in a place that just is not bringing any fruit. Your unhappy and  just stuck. I had to get away, as I closed out my 20th year of life I went to the most happiest place in the world Disney World. I had a blast, I was rejuvenated, revived and ready for what was next! You just have to get away from the madness and reevaluate life! 
That was the start of the preparation process for my future! It took me 9 years and maybe more but I feel like I am in a great place! 

Stay tuned for more of life's lessons in the 20's! 

Thank you for reading! 

Cicely Renee